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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
All I want is your love, is it that difficult to get it ? Freak la. Today is like a freaking worst day ever. I dont know what happened. But all things just suddenly change. This is not what I want, seriously. I don't even care if you play your games too much till you freaking don't message me. Why is it that all of a sudden you became so in love with your games ?! Till every thought of yours is about games games & games! My worst day ever in my life. A scare, a discussion, that caused my tears to roll down. Crying in front of my sister, she freaking thinks I;m mad. I even need to promise Cheryl to give her a smile each day in school, to be like the cheerful Alena like the last time. I fake a smile in front of you guys to hide my tears. Why issit so difficult that I can't even cry whenever I'm sad ? I need to control those tears. Control them till I get home & let all of them out. No, this isn't what I want. All I want is your freaking love. You to be like the last time. I hate all this! Because of this, I hated life. I hated it so much till I feel like eating 12 pandols & end this life! Sean was afriad that I might do stupid things after talking to Marcus after school. He companied me all the way from school till home. Within that period, I was walking here & there. Bedok View to Temasek primary. Temasek primary to 7eleven. 7eleven to TPS again. Tps to the back to the school. Front & then after that walked back. This continues for freaking many times. Slack at bus stop to 'think'. But my mind isn't working that well. I don't know. I loved him that much, & why is all this things happening to me now ? I just need some 'experts' to talk to him. Telling him not to be that in love with all those games till he got addicited to them. But who do I find ? Even his closest friend is giving up on him. I seriously don't know what to do now. My mind is confused, seriously it does. After thinking some time. I finally know the different ways of ending this freaking life. - Shut all the windows & door, on your gas. - Slit yourself at your wrist, & say byebye after don't know how long. - Since I'm sick now, I'll not eat any medicine & sick till death. - Jump down from the buliding. - Get your legs to the freaking road when you see a car. I know all this doesn't help & its a stupid things to do. But at least it ends this stupid life of mine. A stupid, meaningless life. |
ALENA♥ alena-khoo@hotmail.com Blogshop Friendster I love when I want to. Adam Alina Amanda poh Amanda lee Amira Amirah Avelene Benjamin Christopher Charmaine Cheryl Darlina Elaine Eunice Geikchang HanWei (Tutor) Huiying Jamie Jiayan Jieyi Jingen JingXuan Joy teo Joy phan Jolene seah Jolene low Julia Kaori Khaliesah Kiettiphong Lesley Leslin Lizzie Luyi Mandy Marissa Miaoling Natalie Nelson Nicole Qiongyue Qian Razeef Robi Sarah Sean Serene Shannan Shariz Sheila Shirlyn Shermin Shengfatt Shimin Skye Suvd Teck chong Tingting Tyan-wei Vera Wailing Weian Weili Weiling Weisin Wester Xinyi Xinying Yasmin YuanJin Yuerong Zhaoying Zoey ¼ 2008 Background : Photobucket. Others : ME ! (: |